By: Grandma Minks
If you’ve read the previous blog entry from Mama Minks a couple of weeks ago, you may very well have had a pull on the heartstrings as I did regarding our journey of Motherhood. Mama Minks shared personal insights to her role of motherhood from the very beginning to present day. Within those thoughts she shared fears, insecurities and even as she called it, guilt. Within that journey she also recognized her growth and the positive aspects that have changed over the years. I immediately told her how very proud I was of her writing, and vulnerability. And that I too, felt all of those things about my journey through Motherhood, and apologized for the shortcomings that surely impacted her while she/WE were growing up. I added that if I didn’t live 2 hours away, I’d have knocked on her door to have this conversation face to face right at that moment.
Here we are a week after Mothers Day, and I’m still basking in the glow of the occasion. In preparation for the dinner with the Minks litter, I prepared and packed some of the famous family recipes. I love spoiling them with food and gifts. When I first arrived, I was lovingly presented with 2 very special treasures that I hold dear. I had to tell my daughter I didn’t buy a gift… she of course smiled and said “That’s alright”. . but what she didn’t know was that I did have something special for her, something that she should have been given years ago, probably many times.
When we had a few minutes alone, I held her hands and looked straight into her eyes to tell her how very much I love her and have always loved being her Mom. I told her that I believe she deserved so much more, so much better, than I was able to provide growing up. I thanked her for the gift of our close relationship now, as we’re older and thanked her for allowing me to be the mom to her now, that I wish I could have been then. After what felt like a long pause, I asked if she can forgive me. She replied without any pause at all “I do, Mom. I forgive you”.
At that moment my heart grew 10x its normal size as we hugged the longest, most connected hug in years. For those who know my daughter, you know she’s not a fan of hugging. With that being said, I was beyond thrilled that when I started to pull away to let her breathe, it was she who was still holding on tight. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. She accepted my gift with everything I had hoped for. I felt like the dark skies that sometimes brewed, were gone. Any bricks left from emotional walls were taken down and used as pavers to a more solid footing towards our current and future walk of life together.
The day went on as planned, with Mother’s Day festivities that included additional family, filling the home with love and laughter to every corner. I don’t know how many dozens of times I said to myself, “Thank you God!! I am so blessed!”. Occasionally I would glance at my daughter, only to see that she was smiling at me… for reasons I hoped were the same reasons as mine.
I share this very personal experience for several reasons. 1) My daughter inspires me to be the very best version myself I can be. And she sees me, for who I am now. Not for the mistakes/bad choices I’ve made in the past. 2) This is a gift that keeps giving, growing, and blessing us both. 3) Taking ownership of flaws doesn’t make a person weak or worthless. It makes a person stronger and braver to let go and rebuild. 4) Living life through the view ahead is exciting and fulfilling.
“If you’re living life right, you’ll learn something new everyday”. – Grandma Josephine. ❤️
I must be doing alright; I’m learning that every day is a version I didn’t even know was available to me.